December 21, 2010

An Inbox Question….

by victorymoon

Arrived for me today… It said..

What does your spirit most want you to know and do today?–

It arrived as a quote from a newsletter I get from Alan Cohen, and seriously, it has thrown me for quite a loop.

Today, Friday December 10, 2010, I am busy assembling family to the bedside of my Mum, who is fading from this dimension.

Is this what my spirit most wants me to know and do? I do hope so, yet, how can I be sure? How can anyone, in a time such as this, be sure that the actions one is taking are the ones spirit wants, or the ones society has propped us up to feel we need to do? Or…can both be credited?

December 21, 2010

Notes 2 Self

by victorymoon

The better I feel about myself, the less I need you to be different….

This was a quote I found in an email the other day, which gave me pause for thought.

How do I feel about myself,  and is how I feel about myself, reflected in the mirror I use when I see others?

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December 21, 2010

Happiness Is….

by victorymoon

Happiness is…..

when I was a child, in grade school, I was in glee club.
It was one of my favorite classes; something I looked forward to and had a passion for. We would sit in our little chairs in a large room, with our music teacher, Ms. Hall, and get handed our sheet music, and then we would practice. Practice and practice and practice. Often, other children would get frustrated with glee club, or the practicing. Some even joined just to get out of class, yet, not me. I felt so pleased to be able to have time to simply sing. Sing and sing and sing.
When we would have a performance, it was an exciting time. We would practice while standing on the risers, in the auditorium, and belt out our songs. Then, eventually, the big day would come. We would stand in front of the entire school and sing our collection of songs. Then, that night, another performance, this time, made up of parents, relatives, friends and neighbors.
I was in my glory, while on “stage”. Yet, it was not really the time in the spot light that drew me, it was truly the music, the songs, the notes on paper transferred to voice and instrument. The voices, working together.
One of my favorite songs that plays in my mind, now and again, is one from the musical “You’re a Good Man, Charlie Brown”.

I’m so happy. That little red-headed girl dropped her pencil. It has teeth marks all over it. She nibbles her pencil.
She’s human! It hasn’t been such a bad day after all.




















(The cast filters out, waving “good night” to Charlie Brown, but Lucy stays, and and stands in silence for a moment before finally saying:)

You’re a good man, Charlie Brown.

– He smiles, and the lights go down –

These days, my versions of happiness differ a bit, yet, are mostly as simple and the ones sung about by the characters in the musical.

My personal song might be something like…

Happiness is…
A cup of warm beverage
A fresh clove cigar
A shine from the Sun

Seeing some fireflies
Finding a new tree
Petting my Ru

Happiness is…
Clean hair free of tangles
Clean clothes to choose from
A deep hot long bath

So, I am in the process of making a list, of what happiness is for me now. For I am at a crossroads again; mum has transitioned and no longer needs my assistance. I am free to leave this area, or stay put. If I leave, what would I be leaving for, and if I stay, what will I be staying for. These are the questions before me now, on my plate, so to speak.
Good orderly direction is what I am seeking, so a list of reasons feels very sound.

Feels right to share this quote from a daily newsletter I receive via email –

“Those of us on the path of personal and spiritual growth have a tendency to analyze our unhappiness in order to find the causes and make improvements. But it is just as important, if not more so, to analyze our happiness. Since we have the ability to rise above and observe our emotions, we can recognize when we are feeling joyful and content. Then we can harness the power of the moment by savoring our feelings and taking time to be grateful for them.

Recognition is the first step in creating change, therefore recognizing what it feels like to be happy is the first step toward sustaining happiness in our lives. We can examine how joy feels in our bodies and what thoughts run through our minds in times of bliss. Without diminishing its power, we can retrace our steps to discover what may have put us in this frame of mind, and then we can take note of the choices we’ve made while there. We might realize that we are generally more giving and forgiving when there’s a smile on our face, or that we are more likely to laugh off small annoyances and the actions of others when they don’t resonate with our light mood.

Once we know what it feels like and can identify some of the triggers and are aware of our actions, we can recreate that happiness when we are feeling low. Knowing that like attracts like, we can pull ourselves out of a blue mood by focusing on joy. We might find that forcing ourselves to be giving and forgiving, even when it doesn’t seem to come naturally, helps us to reconnect with the joy that usually precedes it. If we can identify a song, a picture, or a pet as a happiness trigger, we can use them as tools to recapture joy if we are having trouble finding it. By focusing our energy on analyzing happiness and all that it encompasses, we feed, nurture, and attract more of it into our lives, eventually making a habit of happiness. “ Daily OM

“Who am I? What am I doing here? How can I best serve? What do I want to become, create, accomplish in this life?”

December 21, 2010

Gifts of Affection

by victorymoon

Friday evening, as I swung around, preparing to get in my car, I stopped and said something that still puzzles me. Well, not anymore. I just found my answer, and it is a doozy!

I had passed on some items to an acquaintance, that had belonged to my mother. She had transitioned and I was busy clearing out her apartment. Dismantling a person’s life is a daunting task.

I had quickly chosen to gift a desk chair and computer monitor to a person who needed them. She had gratefully accepted the items and we had loaded them into her vehicle. We were both leaving at the same time and as we parted, she said thank you and I said, “do you love me more now?”

That remark really jolted me, and her, by the look on her face. She said, “no”, and hugged me with a big bear hug.

As I drove out of the parking lot I wondered, what the heck she must think of me after such a remark. Then I thought, what did I think of myself, to make such a remark?

Well, my answer is, I am still trying to please my mother!!!

Howz that?

My mother is dead, well, her body is anyway, and the end of attempting to please her is here. Yet, for some reason, the gift giving thing triggered a need in me for affection? Approval? For what? A gift? For cripes sake, it was a gift. Or was it?

Maybe, for all these years, every gift I have given my mother has been so that she would approve of me? How gag sad is that? I mean, I am 52 years old; can you imagine how many gifts that tallies up to? At least two a year, right? And that is just birthday and Xmas. Then add the little items I threw her direction for some reason or another. Times that by say, 48? for a low number. Gee, I sure have been working overtime for affection.

No wonder none of my relationships work out for very long; how much can a person take from another before they get tired of constantly saying thank you.

Lesson Learned

Now, where do I take the test?

No, please do not tell me………………… I am not really sure I am that ready…….

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December 10, 2010

Chems: Viral Gems

by victorymoon

I have been ill since Saturday, not with like a cold, I mean, ILL.

Severe Headaches, Earaches, Throat sore, drainage out of nose and down throat. Burning eyes, so much so, to keep them closed does not even give much relief. Oh, let me not forget the neck and shoulder pain, and the aches throughout my body. Also, a low grade fever.

A real treat of a week!!

Not since finding myself in a house with Black Mold, have I felt this bad.

When the symptoms first came on, very suddenly, I staying at my mum’s, in Durant OK.  I was sure she had no Black Mold, yet, symptoms said differently.

I arrived home on Sunday night, and thinking there was something in Durant causing the dis-ease, was sure I would be well again in a day or so.

It is now Thursday night and I am worse than I was Saturday, except, the headaches have subsided.

So, either both dwellings have Black Mold, or………… something else has got me.

With a bit of mental clarity, and a search engine, I came across the above site and page.

Interesting that while I stood outside in Durant, talking with a couple of women who are neighbors to mum, I noticed a couple of crisscrossing lines in the sky on Friday.

April 9, 2010 zipcode 73432

April 2010 Oklahoma

Now I am this ill………..

Could it be that Chem Trails are the reason for my malaise?

No, of course not; nothing as dastardly as sprayed poison from some covert plan, could have anything to do with how I feel tonight.

Wish I could get my hands on some hospital statistics and sleuth out if anyone else in the Durant area is currently suffering from similar symptoms and what the medical establishment has to say about it.

I do not use western medicine, so I will not be going to any doctor, so will most likely not hear about those other folks who may have been in the open last week.

Meanwhile, I did find another article, which gave me a few pointers, on things I can do to treat myself. Which, I have already started and am finding to give me some relief. Fact is, I waited too long to realize what I was up against.

Here is the other site and article; note in the comments the suggestion by Rose, to use hydrogen peroxide in the ears. Trust me, it is really helping….

Since I work with essential oils for healing purposes, I have been using methods for Black Mold all week.

Oregano, Tea Tree, Red Thyme, and some Rosemary ,  Cajeput and Camphor thrown in, for good measure.

Something has to be able to fight whatever it is in my system, no matter what the source.

FYI – the photo in this post is not from Durant, nor in December 2010.  It was taken north of Durant, in April, when the sky, which I had been admiring for it’s clear blue, suddenly became crisscrossed with flybys…..

December 9, 2010

So Tiring….

by victorymoon

If I can use something to make something, that was used before, and is now free and just sitting around, I will do it!

So when some krazy driver side swiped my postal box right off its stick, and left it laying in the ditch, I had a challenge.

The stick it had originally sat on was in pieces, and my thoughts were, if the driver did it with such ease once, it could happen again.

I took to thinking about how I could construct a setup that would be more stable; I ran across several ideas on the internet, as well as, in my mind.

Loved the one with the postal box embedded in a brick housing; had bricks, yet did not want to use them in such a fashion. They are precious and being saved for…. something more  important.

As I was staring at the brick pile, wondering if I, in fact, could part with them all, for that is what it would take for the setup… I spied, to the left, my trusty used tire pile.Tired

Ah…. now there we go… no shortage of those sweet rubbers…. If in fact I did need more, for anything, there is always an endless supply down the road at the local fix it shop.

So I got to hauling, and stacking, and Voila’

Now I have a stable perch for my postal box, at the needed height for the carrier to drop off mail, and it cost me nothing but some time and sweat.

I even think it is rather quaint, and speaks loudly of my passion for upcycling.

Besides the fact that I am the only one on this dirt road that has one…. lol…

at least for now……..

December 9, 2010

Honey, Honey, Honey…..

by victorymoon

Today, while commiserating with my pupp, Rufio, about how crappy we both feel…..

I recovered some information from my mind and did a little Chicky Checkup RU, and there it was….

How to Treat Your Pet’s Wound with Honey

(courtesy of eHow)

You can either pack it with gauze that is covered with Honey, or do what I am doing… Just pour the Local Organic Honey, into the deep hole in the top of his head, and on the gash on his right foreleg.

Ru has already licked the honey off his leg; that wound is healing nicely anyway, due to his care for it.

It is the one on his head, that he can not get to, that has me concerned the most.

Previously, with more than one pupp here, another dog would be caring for the spot on the top. In this case, I would be checking the healing, and only apply honey if I saw things not going well.

Since I am now Ru’s Pack member, it is now US, We is the Tribe, it is mine responsibility to “tend” the wound.

I have never been much for licking around on another beast, human or otherwise, so I will let the Honey do my chores for me today.

Which also provides me with a new nic namer for Ru… aka Honey Head… (he is already a sweetie, so this fits)



It matters not what you’ve done with your life, for better or worse.  What matters is what you do with your life today.

—  Alan Cohen

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December 9, 2010

Dis Embodied Dis Assembled

by victorymoon

A feeling just registered in my being; a feeling of being disembodied. As though my energy and my body, are becoming separate.

My time lately has been spent, busing myself and possessions, back and forth between “the woods” and “town”. Town being were Ancient One resides, and is currently, in hospital.

Ancient One is my mum; a precious soul, who inhabits a body with a chronic illness, that is sapping strength and energy. A One, is 85, somewhat settled, about leaving this planet, and yet, fearful of what the next realm holds.

For the past few weeks, when I am in her presence, one distinct phrase keeps repeating itself in my mind. “She is fading”.

When the feeling of being disembodied entered my mind this morning, so did the concept that, maybe, that phrase I have been hearing around A One, is not about her. Maybe it is about myself.

Then a second thought rode in; maybe the feeling is relative to A One and to myself.

That as her energy fades from this dimension, that part of her in me, is going also.

Tired yet Peaceful

Is that a possibility, or a probability.

Do “we” actually feel the life energy connection of another being, who we are deeply connected to, disconnect, when they flow from the present dimension of existence, into another?

I know that the chakra system has strands that connect us, like umbilical cords, to other people who we create the relationship with. Individuals in a sexual relationship, for example, even a causal one, create a strand, a link up, with each other. The more often, the stronger the strand.

So, with all that in mind, as the being that is transitioning, fades….. the link gets weaker? The strand has less pull on the other person?

This is an area I have not done much study on, and now I will have to. Although, with everything going on just now, I may have to leave it alone, except for this post about the feeling.

If anyone has further info on this type of situation, please write. Maybe someone who has had someone close to them slowly die, has experienced something of this sort.

Although it is a bit of a morbid topic, I certainly did not start out with that intention. Just so fascinating as the concepts started to flow into my mind this morning, that I felt it must be for the blog page. Why not, right? Right!

December 8, 2010

Celebrate…….. You Rock!

by victorymoon

Rock Out

Today, December 8th, is a day, much like any day, except… a person born on this date, moons ago, happens to be a friend of mine. A Sista Friend, as I call her. Someone so dear, that it occurred to me just recently, that if I had chosen my DNA family, I would have placed her in the mix.

Now, some say, we DO chose our family of origin, before arriving on this planet in human form. That we chose persons who will help us create the best environment to enhance our lessons to be learned.

I say, It well may be, and yet, Tiz a scary thought!!

How many of us, find ourselves well suited to live within our current family structure? Do we get along with our siblings? How about our parents?

Or are you in the group that seems to find yourself more like “Valentine”, the character in Heinlein’s novel, “Stranger in a Strange Land”. As if we were raised on another planet, and then just recently returned to planet earth, as an early adult. Not knowing the customs, the mores, or even the slang of language.

Well, this Sista Friend, the one I mentioned has a celebration day today… She must have been raised on the other planet that I was. Cuzz she squawks like I do!

So, to Sista, I say, Hail!
and Happy B Day!!

May Your road be blessed with pebbles, instead of stones, and may you encounter well springs of pure delight!
…. just watch out for the scat on the side of the cistern…you know how that goes…

FYI : check out Sista’s site, Seeker 2 Seeker, see for yourself, why she Rocks!

Fear is excitement without breath.

— Fritz Perls

December 8, 2010

Evening… within the woods…

by victorymoon

As the day draws down, and the sky fills with light from universes far away… Ru and I seek warmth and companionship with each other.

His pain seems to have subsided, for now, and I notice his desire for food and drink have increased. This is good.Night Sky

Hospital has been called; Ancient One rests, not ready to be moved.

I take a deep breath and think about sustenance .

Already have eaten once today, a good change, so added food is just a thought.

There are so many other forms of sustenance;

sustenance [ˈsʌstənəns]
1. means of sustaining health or life; nourishment
2. means of maintenance; livelihood
3. Also sustention [səˈstɛnʃən] the act or process of sustaining or the quality of being sustained [from Old French sostenance, from sustenir to sustain]


Yet, it does not even mention how we are social creatures, and occasionally must meet the need. Nor does it touch on how understanding and learning, feed the soul.

Check a thesaurus, there are more phrases, yet, mostly food related, or livelihood. (just what is livelihood?)

Tonight, I want my sus, in the form of a hot water bath, a healthy Mum and Pupp, friends to chat with into the wee hours, and a fire in the pit.

I will settle; soup, a book, a warm bed, a heart broken Ru.

Bless All……….


“No one is really working for peace unless he is working primarily for the restoration of wisdom.”—E. F. Schumacher