Posts tagged ‘emotions’

December 21, 2010

Happiness Is….

by victorymoon

Happiness is…..

when I was a child, in grade school, I was in glee club.
It was one of my favorite classes; something I looked forward to and had a passion for. We would sit in our little chairs in a large room, with our music teacher, Ms. Hall, and get handed our sheet music, and then we would practice. Practice and practice and practice. Often, other children would get frustrated with glee club, or the practicing. Some even joined just to get out of class, yet, not me. I felt so pleased to be able to have time to simply sing. Sing and sing and sing.
When we would have a performance, it was an exciting time. We would practice while standing on the risers, in the auditorium, and belt out our songs. Then, eventually, the big day would come. We would stand in front of the entire school and sing our collection of songs. Then, that night, another performance, this time, made up of parents, relatives, friends and neighbors.
I was in my glory, while on “stage”. Yet, it was not really the time in the spot light that drew me, it was truly the music, the songs, the notes on paper transferred to voice and instrument. The voices, working together.
One of my favorite songs that plays in my mind, now and again, is one from the musical “You’re a Good Man, Charlie Brown”.

CHARLIE BROWN:
(Spoken)
I’m so happy. That little red-headed girl dropped her pencil. It has teeth marks all over it. She nibbles her pencil.
She’s human! It hasn’t been such a bad day after all.

(Sung)
HAPPINESS IS FINDING A PENCIL.

SNOOPY:
PIZZA WITH SAUSAGE

LINUS:
TELLING THE TIME.

SCHROEDER:
HAPPINESS IS LEARNING TO WHISTLE.

LINUS:
TYING YOUR SHOE FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME.

SALLY:
HAPPINESS IS PLAYING THE DRUM IN YOUR OWN SCHOOL BAND.

CHARLIE BROWN:
AND HAPPINESS IS WALKING HAND IN HAND.
HAPPINESS IS TWO KINDS OF ICE CREAM.

LUCY:
KNOWING A SECRET.

SCHROEDER:
CLIMBING A TREE.

CHARLIE BROWN:
HAPPINESS IS FIVE DIFFERENT CRAYONS.

SCHROEDER:
CATCHING A FIREFLY.
SETTING HIM FREE.

CHARLIE BROWN:
HAPPINESS IS BEING ALONE EVERY NOW AND THEN.

ALL:
AND HAPPINESS IS COMING HOME AGAIN.

CHARLIE BROWN:
HAPPINESS IS MORNING AND EVENING,
DAY TIME AND NIGHT TIME TOO.
FOR HAPPINESS IS ANYONE AND ANYTHING AT ALL
THAT’S LOVED BY YOU.

LINUS:
HAPPINESS IS HAVING A SISTER.

LUCY:
SHARING A SANDWICH.

LUCY AND LINUS:
GETTING ALONG.

ALL:
HAPPINESS IS SINGING TOGETHER WHEN DAY IS THROUGH,
AND HAPPINESS IS THOSE WHO SING WITH YOU.
HAPPINESS IS MORNING AND EVENING,
DAYTIME AND NIGHTTIME TOO.

CHARLIE BROWN:
FOR HAPPINESS IS ANYONE AND ANYTHING AT ALL
THAT’S LOVED BY YOU.

(The cast filters out, waving “good night” to Charlie Brown, but Lucy stays, and and stands in silence for a moment before finally saying:)

LUCY:
You’re a good man, Charlie Brown.

– He smiles, and the lights go down –

These days, my versions of happiness differ a bit, yet, are mostly as simple and the ones sung about by the characters in the musical.

My personal song might be something like…

Happiness is…
A cup of warm beverage
A fresh clove cigar
A shine from the Sun

Seeing some fireflies
Finding a new tree
Petting my Ru

Happiness is…
Clean hair free of tangles
Clean clothes to choose from
A deep hot long bath

So, I am in the process of making a list, of what happiness is for me now. For I am at a crossroads again; mum has transitioned and no longer needs my assistance. I am free to leave this area, or stay put. If I leave, what would I be leaving for, and if I stay, what will I be staying for. These are the questions before me now, on my plate, so to speak.
Good orderly direction is what I am seeking, so a list of reasons feels very sound.

Feels right to share this quote from a daily newsletter I receive via email –

“Those of us on the path of personal and spiritual growth have a tendency to analyze our unhappiness in order to find the causes and make improvements. But it is just as important, if not more so, to analyze our happiness. Since we have the ability to rise above and observe our emotions, we can recognize when we are feeling joyful and content. Then we can harness the power of the moment by savoring our feelings and taking time to be grateful for them.

Recognition is the first step in creating change, therefore recognizing what it feels like to be happy is the first step toward sustaining happiness in our lives. We can examine how joy feels in our bodies and what thoughts run through our minds in times of bliss. Without diminishing its power, we can retrace our steps to discover what may have put us in this frame of mind, and then we can take note of the choices we’ve made while there. We might realize that we are generally more giving and forgiving when there’s a smile on our face, or that we are more likely to laugh off small annoyances and the actions of others when they don’t resonate with our light mood.

Once we know what it feels like and can identify some of the triggers and are aware of our actions, we can recreate that happiness when we are feeling low. Knowing that like attracts like, we can pull ourselves out of a blue mood by focusing on joy. We might find that forcing ourselves to be giving and forgiving, even when it doesn’t seem to come naturally, helps us to reconnect with the joy that usually precedes it. If we can identify a song, a picture, or a pet as a happiness trigger, we can use them as tools to recapture joy if we are having trouble finding it. By focusing our energy on analyzing happiness and all that it encompasses, we feed, nurture, and attract more of it into our lives, eventually making a habit of happiness. “ Daily OM

“Who am I? What am I doing here? How can I best serve? What do I want to become, create, accomplish in this life?”

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December 21, 2010

Gifts of Affection

by victorymoon

Friday evening, as I swung around, preparing to get in my car, I stopped and said something that still puzzles me. Well, not anymore. I just found my answer, and it is a doozy!

I had passed on some items to an acquaintance, that had belonged to my mother. She had transitioned and I was busy clearing out her apartment. Dismantling a person’s life is a daunting task.

I had quickly chosen to gift a desk chair and computer monitor to a person who needed them. She had gratefully accepted the items and we had loaded them into her vehicle. We were both leaving at the same time and as we parted, she said thank you and I said, “do you love me more now?”

That remark really jolted me, and her, by the look on her face. She said, “no”, and hugged me with a big bear hug.

As I drove out of the parking lot I wondered, what the heck she must think of me after such a remark. Then I thought, what did I think of myself, to make such a remark?

Well, my answer is, I am still trying to please my mother!!!

Howz that?

My mother is dead, well, her body is anyway, and the end of attempting to please her is here. Yet, for some reason, the gift giving thing triggered a need in me for affection? Approval? For what? A gift? For cripes sake, it was a gift. Or was it?

Maybe, for all these years, every gift I have given my mother has been so that she would approve of me? How gag sad is that? I mean, I am 52 years old; can you imagine how many gifts that tallies up to? At least two a year, right? And that is just birthday and Xmas. Then add the little items I threw her direction for some reason or another. Times that by say, 48? for a low number. Gee, I sure have been working overtime for affection.

No wonder none of my relationships work out for very long; how much can a person take from another before they get tired of constantly saying thank you.

Lesson Learned

Now, where do I take the test?

No, please do not tell me………………… I am not really sure I am that ready…….

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